What my weight loss journey taught me!
Being fat is NOT a sin!
Anyway, as the lockdown proceeded, I tried to be very disciplined about my routine and often was an escape from reality. I started from basic yoga stretches and since it was a complete lockdown, we refrained from ordering out. When I saw the slightest change in my body, the obsession grew, but by this time it was more happiness than an obsession. I started trying difficult yoga positions and as the lockdown eased I started going for regular runs. Apart from the physical change, the runs used to give a time to focus on my thoughts and feelings, I had the time to think them through too. One of my friends introduced me to Nike Running App and soon I started seeing some major transformation in my body. What had started from a single motive to lose weight, now carried multiple motives. I was distanced from the sole purpose of weight reduction and moved to my mental and emotional well-being. The runs felt like meditation and not something I had to do for my fat.
It is extremely funny, how we were never taught to love and accept ourselves, how we were taught to fit within the social constraints, and how mental health was never formally introduced to us children. There I was losing weight and yet feeling the same I felt my love for food diminish, I used to control myself from eating sweet or oily and hardly had cheat days. The deeper I dug into my thoughts, the vulnerable I became. I gave myself the much-needed intervention- weight loss and happiness are far from associated. I now felt myself being more conscious of my physical appearance, which did no good. I cut down more on food but felt like there was a hurricane brewing inside whenever I denied myself my favorite dishes for long.
I didn’t feel my best, and that is when my mother sat me down and told me how eating everything in adequate proportions was important and cutting down on food wouldn’t help for long. It was almost a year by then and I had lost around 8–10kgs. I started working towards wholistic wellbeing and not just chasing a slim waist. Yes, there are still times when I get conscious but I have gained the power to console and talk to my body.
For most of us out there, we have faced harsh comments about our physical appearance and sometimes we do think if we fix that I lived would be magical. That bubble burst for me! I have finally started understanding myself better whilst paying more attention to my mental and emotional wellbeing. I associated weight loss with happiness, to a life where there would be no problems, and it is true that the healthier you feel, the better you work. Yet, it not just includes body weight.
Your brain plays tricks with you, it often believes you into thinking that people around you are right, and sometimes they can be. But nothing is more crucial than you feeling you!
